What's Next?

‘Stepping further out into your farthest sphere of influence, you have something essential to offer the World. It may be in the form of a notable career. It may be a hidden life, well lived. Some women are called to the marketplace. Lydia was an entrepreneur when Paul met her, “a dealer in purple cloth from the city of Thyatira, who was a worshiper of God” (Acts 16:14). Deborah was an advisor to Israel on matters of justice, economics, and warfare (Judg. 4-5). Some women find themselves in the marketplace of the World because they want to be there. It is their calling. Other are there because at this time in their lives they have no choice.

Either way, the crucial issue is this: It is as a woman you must live there. Do not be naïve. The World is still deeply marred by the Fall. Men still dominate in many sinful ways (remember the curse). Women who “make it” there tend to be dominating and controlling (remember Fallen Eve). The Evil One holds sway over the World and its systems (1 John 5-19). In the World you must be a cunning as a Rahab, an Esther, a Tamar. You must walk wisely. You must not let them shape you into their view of what a woman is. You’ll end up a man. What you have to offer is as a woman. Uniquely feminine.

Above all, you must live in that World as a response to the invitation of Jesus, for you will be hurt if he has not called you there. You will be covered if he has’ (212).

My reaction to this passage:

I have been job searching for the past two or three months. It has been challenging and my labor appears fruitless. I was stopped dead in my tracks after reading this passage in Captivating.

First, I remembered two independent things my aunt has said to me recently: 1. Maybe God doesn’t have your job ready for you yet, 2. Allison, as long as you are vulnerable, allowing God to take care of your heart, you are bringing beauty to the world and unveiling that is a big deal in God’s plan (This in response to my comment that I believe God is preparing me for grandly distinguished role/purpose).

I also remembered expressing, on several occasions, how important it is to me to remain vulnerable and not to harden my heart after it’s been broken (And I am not fooled, it will break again for it is breakable in human interaction; but, I will press on). To seek restoration. To share my experiences with others. To unveil my beauty and encourage others to do the same. Cultivating my character, the very core of who I am, is eminent and essential in my life for it reveals God’s beauty and character. It is more important to me that any job. Who I am affects me relationally in the World and relationships, influencing people’s souls, are the only thing that is eternal.

Then I remembered having said that “maybe I am not supposed to have a thriving career in corporate America.” Don’t get me wrong I would love it. My primary gift from God is my scholastic ability and I am more than capable to have a notable career. “Maybe God knows something about the pressures, specific to my personality, that I would face, how they may destroy me, and is protecting me,” Another comment I have made.

The summation of these comments was that maybe God has called me to something else, not Corporate America. God knows my desire to embrace my redeemed heart and to unveil my beauty and in doing so give others permission to unveil their beauty as well. And not just others but specifically women. I long to encourage and motivate women to be the Captivating women that God has made them. So, just maybe God knows that my heart and desires would take a beating in the Corporate World. That for me to live in the Corporate World would mean a constant and unnecessary battle against being a dominating Fallen Eve (And believe me, I struggle with being a controlling Fallen Eve). Perhaps my heart is better protected and unveiled outside of that realm. Could God possibly be saying, “No, it’s not for you. With such a world impacting beautifully vulnerable heart that I am creating in you, I don’t want you bruised any more than necessary!”

I ask that you please pray with me as I wait on (and listen to) the Lord to reveal the next step in his perfect plan for my life.

Kissed by God

Have you ever stopped to notice how God romances us? God has an immeasurable passionate love for each of us. It seems though that we either don't value this concept enough or that we are too busy with the hustle and bustle of life to even notice. Recently I was encouraged to take a look at how God has romanced me in the past and to pay attention to how he is romancing me now (and in the future). I have decided to call God's acts of romance, kisses. These are some of the ways God brings me joy and romances me.

Kisses from God...

1. Two people together in one section of a turn style revolving door. This is so much fun. I love jumping into the same section as someone else. The other person is usually freaked out and I am usually laughing uncontrollably. We didn't have many revolving doors where I am from in Florida. I noticed them everywhere when I moved to Atlanta. At first I was a little scared of them, especially when the person in the section behind me would push too fast. But then, one day I just jumped into the same section that Jamie was in. The rest is history.

2. Breakfast for dinner. I can remember as a child thinking that breakfast for dinner was right up there with cookies and coke for breakfast! There is just something about eating cheesy scrambled eggs and a huge stack of pancakes for dinner that makes my heart smile.

3. Swinging. I love a good swing set session every once in a while. I am not talking about porch swings; although, I do like those too. I am referring to the swings on a park playground. When I swing I feel elated, peaceful, and free. My favorite time to swing is when I need some time with my self and with God.

4. Listening to children's music. My mom always had tapes for us in the car when I was little. My sisters and I loved to sing and so did my mom. She had a song for everything: trusting God, saying please and thank you, crossing the street, and of course she knew the words to anything that predated me! Anyway, there is something about children's music that soothes my soul. It reminds me to have childlike faith. And its fun! Psalty the Singing Song Book was one of my favorites as a kid. A few years ago, I bought one of the CDs. It stays in my car and takes a turn on the play list about once a month.

5. God's artwork. Full moons. Sunsets. Bubbling creeks. Cool breezes. Tidal zones. Gardens. Mountains. Rolling foothills. Giant sunflowers. Smooth river pebbles. Jagged boulders. Pristine sand dunes. Rolly Pollies. Fresh cut grass. Rainbows. Fields of wildflowers.

The Essence of Beauty

In continuing with my bedtime ritual, last night, I read another couple of sections in Captivating. The authors' experiences and concepts are always enlightening. The sections I read last night were on beauty. A beautiful God. A beautiful creation. The culmination of God's beauty: Women.

It was neat because they discussed somewhat of the same principle that I wrote about yesterday. After reading, I couldn't wait to share this passage with you.

"A woman in her glory, a woman of beauty, is a woman who is not striving to become beautiful or worthy enough. She knows in her quiet center where God dwells that he finds her beautiful, has deemed her worthy, and in him, she is enough. In fact, the only thing getting in the way of our being fully captivating and enjoyed is our striving.

'He will quiet you with his love' (Zeph. 3:17). A woman of true beauty is a woman who in the depths of her soul is at rest, trusting God because she has come to know him to be worthy of her trust. She exudes a sense of calm, a sense of rest, and invites those around her to rest as well. She speaks comfort; she knows that we live in a world at war, that we have a vicious enemy, and our journey is through a broken world. But she also knows that because of God all is well, that all will be well. A woman of true beauty offers others the grace TO BE and the room to become" (134-135).

Wow, how inspiring...truly captivating! This is the woman I long to be.

"This is the woman you are; I made you this way," --God.

This is the woman I am!

So today, I have decided to modify my life mission to include such an inspiring and vital character trait: To live a love-filled outrageous life with no regrets, leading with passion and conviction, inspiring all those in my path, while unveiling my beauty and, in doing so, encouraging others to do the same.



Eldredge, John & Staci. Captivating. Nelson Books, Nashville. 2005.

TO BE

This is in response to Austin's May 23rd blog. Once again moved by his experiences, I was posting a comment on his blog and was inspired to lengthen the comment into my own blog. So here it is...

Something I learned from Louie's History series came to mind while reading. God's name...as he tells us in the Old Testament..."I AM." I AM means "To be." And this is exactly the point. He was, he is, and he always will be. He calls us to be as well. Not infinite, not as it pertains to having no beginning and no end, but just "TO BE." To be his love and to be ourselves, exactly how God created us.

Upon the revelation of this concept about 10.5 months ago I was awestruck! So many things made sense. How about this, "Actions speak louder than words." Uh, yeah! So by being God's love we are being God to others since God is love. It's like when people say, "You may be the only Jesus someone ever sees." This is true. And by being God instead of verbalizing (preaching, cramming, defending) God we have way more impact on our world.

This was part of Jesus' purpose. Yes, ultimately he came to save us from death. However, God sent him to be God in the flesh.

To be God. To be the example. To be the savior, etc.

So my ultimate thought here is this: God created us in his image. A perfect, radiant, intriguing, awe-inspiringg, beautiful, creative, glorious (and the list goes on) image! So, wouldn't we BEST testify God and impact people by being all of these things? By being exactly who God made us!?!?!

Make no mistake about this, You are BEAUTIFUL!

Music

Last night I had one of the best nights I have had in a long time. As a thank you, the 722 staff hosted a gathering in our honor for serving on one of the 722 teams. They showered us with thanks, dessert, and music. We sang (a lot) and danced (a little) to our favorite hits performed by a guitarist and keyboardist.

It’s the music! My soul is elated and free when a song is in the air. When I am listening, and groovin’, to the music that’s when it happens. My soul feels weightless and alive! Sometimes the liberation comes like the slow release of a ribbon on a pristine wedding gown and other times it’s like the burst of wrapping paper on a Christmas gift!

And it prompts a response, an emotion, a healing. A tear prompted by a county song. An energetic shout provoked by a one hit wonder. A smile encouraged by the whisper of a lullaby. A dance stimulated by a praise chorus. A head bang triggered by a rock song. A soul search persuaded by a virgin artist’s debut song.

It’s every kind of music! The freedom shows up in the carefree dancing to a children’s song or the lyrics of a song written by Jamie that have yet to find their tune. Other times it’s in the retro moves to an old 80s hit or in the calm outstretched arms during a worship chorus. It is even revealed during the grind to a rap song with questionable lyrics and the rhythmic serenity of the roll of ocean waves. My soul bursts!

Death: A Season of Life

I was reading the last few blogs on Adventures in Africa by Beth and Holly. I am stirred by their courage in the face of death. Not in a situation where they were facing the end of their own lives; but, rather in a situation in which a little girl they have grown to love has died.

As I read their words God reminded me of this verse in Deuteronomy 31:6, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you."

I couldn't help but think of the courage that Beth and Holly have exercised generally in their mission to Africa. But now they have learned courage on a new level: The courage to ask God to end the life of their beloved friend so that she, Siphiwe, might pass from this life to eternal life to end all suffering.

I thought to myself how death is not generally a season of life that most 20 somethings have yet experienced. You see we are in the "Life" season. Life as it pertains to new relationships, new marriages, new babies. We are pairing off, getting married, and having babies (the majority of us, but not all). We'd be rich if we had a dollar for every wedding we have been to over this decade! But to stop and think about the season of death is startling. This is a season we, a season that I, know little about.

We assume that we will face this season when we are old...when we have lived out most of our lives. And yes, I am sure as we age there will be a "Season of death," where we no longer attend wedding after wedding every weekend; yet, our attendance will be requested at the funerals of loved ones. But what if that day is today, or tomorrow? And when our loved ones are drawing near to their last breaths of their lifetimes will we stand courageous?

God promises that He will be with us...always. This includes our seasons of mourning. I suspect that we would draw from his strength and adopt the courage he shares with us in Deuteronomy. And I would imagine that this courage is what prompts a peace within us, a peace that allows us to summon death as a deliverer for our loved ones.

Fight For Me

I was listening to the familiar words of Kelly Clarkson again the other day: “I want a love. I want a fire to feel the burn of my desires. I want a man by my side not a boy who runs and hides. Are you gonna fight for me, die for me, live and breathe for me, do you care for me? 'Cause if you don't then just leave.”

Then my mind drifted to the wisdom I had just read in the book Captivating, by John & Stasi Eldridge. The following insight was birthed.

(Ladies, all of your hearts would benefit from this book. And guys, if you really want to know and understand women, to fight for us, this book is for you as well.)

Satan has a special hatred for women. Women are the essence of God’s glorious beauty. Lucifer himself was once so glorious and beautiful and then he tried to steal God’s glory. This was unacceptable and he was cast out of Heaven becoming the Satan we know of today. Satan loathes women because we are what he can never be: BEAUTIFUL. (Yes, you are!) He can’t stand to see us manifest God’s radiant beauty. So, he lies to us and entangles us in the cycle of lies: “You’re not worthy.” “You’re not special.” “You aren’t worth fighting for.” “You will be alone.” “No one wants you.” “You are alone...all alone”

Does this sound familiar ladies? We have all felt this way at some point. We have all sobbed because these feelings were overwhelming. And at least once (probably more often then we have courage to admit), we believed it! How heartbreaking.

And then we settled.

It is the sickness that causes the “Mr. Right Now,” symptom. We long for someone to validate our worthiness. To call us special. To bring us companionship. To end our loneliness. To FIGHT for us!

It is in our God given deepest desires to unveil beauty, to be romanced, and to play an irreplaceable role in an adventure. Like a fairy tale…to be rescued, to be fought for.

But did he fight for you? Or just maybe we fought so hard to attain this affirmation of our self worth that we did all the fighting? I know I have done this. It is time that the men in our lives fight for us! And honestly, at their deepest desire, men long for this battle, to fight, to conquer; it is in their God given nature. And their temptation to give up and to give in is the lie that Satan encourages them to believe.

We must wait for the man who is willing to fight for us! You see men fear failure. They cringe and get angered at the thought of not being able to provide and answer or solution. This is how they often view women: a problem that can’t be solved. They wouldn’t risk the failure of getting into our world and not being able to fix it. So, they don’t try.

Men, God didn’t commission you to do the fixing! So buck up and be brave! Fight for me! Fight for my acknowledgement, my friendship, a place in my life. And then once that is earned, fight for my affection, my trust in you, my time with you. Then, fight to earn a place in my heart. And finally above all, fight to get into and understand my world, my heart, my soul, and once you do this, fight to stay there!

Fly High

These are some of my thoughts from my travels last weekend...

I love flying! What is it about flying that is so exhilarating for me? The hustle and bustle of getting to the airport only to "hurry up and wait?" Moving through the air hundreds of miles above ground without a "safety net" is not at all comforting. Yet, there is something about flying that intrigues me. Maybe it is the fact that I am moving through the air hundreds, thousands, of miles above anything "secure."

Flying brings a sense of freedom for me. I feel so incredibly liberated when I fly! At the same time it seems odd that I should feel this way. I mean let's face it, I have no control over my life when flying. My life is in the hands of two men. I can't go anywhere. They tell me when I can stand up, when I can go to the bathroom, and they even monitor my entertainment.

So, what is it really that causes me to feel so free?

Sunny Southwest Florida

I came home to Florida this weekend. I was dreading the weather as I am six months removed from the hell on earth climate. Okay, so it is not that bad; it is just SO humid. The air is so thick it is like you have to chew on it before you can breath it into your lungs! So, while I was too busy complaining about the weather before my trip, my aunt Donna (from Flower Mound, TX) was praying for great weather. I always knew my aunt must have a direct line to God because the weather has been gorgeous!

One of the highlights of my trip was highlights! Yes, I am a dork...hang around me for all of three seconds and you will see this quirky part of God's creation. Anyway, I have long been awaiting my hair appointment. And it has been said that I look like a movie star [inside joke]. I am so excited to have stylin' hair again!

Okay, so the other highlight was my younger sister's graduation. She graduated from Florida Gulf Coast University on Saturday! She is going to be a teacher, and a phenomenal one for the record! And on that note, my mom turned in her "Mother Button." :) That's right the last bird has left the nest...or should I say the last bird has just "Flown over the cuckcoo's nest!" Yes, all three of my sisters and myself each bless those around us with our craziness and individualized humor! [Picture to follow]

It has been fun times! I have enjoyed my family and my time here; however, God sealed the deal in my heart at church on Sunday that my new home is in Atlanta. God has been so good in blessing me with a new family through North Point Community Church. I am so thankful that He gave me the courage to follow His lead to Alpharetta! I love y'all in Fort Misery and Cape Coma too...it was many of you who helped unveil my wings so I could fly.